PART EIGHTChapter 10제8부제10장

When Levin thought what he was and what he was living for, he could find no answer to the questions and was reduced to despair, but he left off questioning himself about it. 자기가 무엇이며 무엇 때문에 사는지 생각할 때면 레빈은 그 물음에 아무 대답도 찾지 못하고 절망에 빠졌지만, 그는 그것을 스스로에게 묻는 일을 그만두었다. It seemed as though he knew both what he was and for what he was living, for he acted and lived resolutely and without hesitation. 그는 단호하게, 망설임 없이 행동하고 살았기 때문에, 마치 자기가 무엇이며 무엇 때문에 사는지 다 아는 것 같았다. Indeed, in these latter days he was far more decided and unhesitating in life than he had ever been. 사실 요즘 그는 그 어느 때보다도 훨씬 더 단호하게, 망설임 없이 살고 있었다.

When he went back to the country at the beginning of June, he went back also to his usual pursuits. 6월 초에 시골로 돌아온 그는 평소에 하던 일로도 돌아갔다. The management of the estate, his relations with the peasants and the neighbors, the care of his household, the management of his sister’s and brother’s property, of which he had the direction, his relations with his wife and kindred, the care of his child, and the new bee-keeping hobby he had taken up that spring, filled all his time. 영지 경영, 농부들과 이웃들과의 관계, 살림 돌보기, 그가 관리를 맡은 누나와 형의 재산 관리, 아내와 친척들과의 관계, 아이 돌보기, 그리고 그해 봄에 새로 시작한 양봉 취미가 그의 시간을 모두 채웠다.

These things occupied him now, not because he justified them to himself by any sort of general principles, as he had done in former days; on the contrary, disappointed by the failure of his former efforts for the general welfare, and too much occupied with his own thought and the mass of business with which he was burdened from all sides, he had completely given up thinking of the general good, and he busied himself with all this work simply because it seemed to him that he must do what he was doing—that he could not do otherwise. 이런 일들이 이제 그를 사로잡은 것은, 예전처럼 무슨 일반 원칙으로 그것을 스스로에게 정당화했기 때문이 아니었다. 오히려 공공의 이익을 위해 기울였던 예전 노력이 실패한 데 실망하고, 자기 생각과 사방에서 짊어진 산더미 같은 일에 너무 바빴기 때문에, 그는 공공의 이익에 대한 생각을 완전히 버렸다. 그리고 그저 자기가 하는 일을 해야만 하고 달리 할 수 없다고 여겨졌기 때문에 이 모든 일에 매달렸다. In former days—almost from childhood, and increasingly up to full manhood—when he had tried to do anything that would be good for all, for humanity, for Russia, for the whole village, he had noticed that the idea of it had been pleasant, but the work itself had always been incoherent, that then he had never had a full conviction of its absolute necessity, and that the work that had begun by seeming so great, had grown less and less, till it vanished into nothing. 예전에는, 거의 어린 시절부터 시작해 어른이 되기까지 점점 더, 모든 사람을 위해, 인류를 위해, 러시아를 위해, 온 마을을 위해 좋은 일을 하려 할 때마다 그는 그 생각은 즐거웠지만 일 자체는 늘 앞뒤가 맞지 않았다는 것을 알아차렸다. 그때는 그 일이 절대적으로 필요하다는 확신이 한 번도 온전히 들지 않았고, 처음에는 그토록 커 보였던 일이 점점 작아지다가 마침내 아무것도 아닌 것으로 사라져 버렸다. But now, since his marriage, when he had begun to confine himself more and more to living for himself, though he experienced no delight at all at the thought of the work he was doing, he felt a complete conviction of its necessity, saw that it succeeded far better than in old days, and that it kept on growing more and more. 그러나 이제, 결혼한 뒤로 점점 더 자기를 위해 사는 데 머물게 되면서, 그는 자기가 하는 일을 생각해도 기쁨은 전혀 느끼지 못했지만 그 일이 필요하다는 것을 완전히 확신했고, 그 일이 예전보다 훨씬 잘되어 간다는 것, 그리고 점점 더 커져 간다는 것을 보았다.

Now, involuntarily it seemed, he cut more and more deeply into the soil like a plough, so that he could not be drawn out without turning aside the furrow. 이제 그는 마치 저도 모르게 쟁기처럼 흙 속으로 점점 더 깊이 파고들어, 고랑을 비틀지 않고는 빠져나올 수 없게 되었다.

To live the same family life as his father and forefathers—that is, in the same condition of culture—and to bring up his children in the same, was incontestably necessary. 아버지와 조상들과 같은 가정생활을, 다시 말해 같은 교양 수준에서 살고 아이들을 같은 방식으로 기르는 것은 의심할 여지 없이 필요했다. It was as necessary as dining when one was hungry. 그것은 배고플 때 밥을 먹는 것만큼 필요했다. And to do this, just as it was necessary to cook dinner, it was necessary to keep the mechanism of agriculture at Pokrovskoe going so as to yield an income. 그리고 그렇게 하려면, 밥을 지어야 하듯이 포크롭스코예의 농사라는 기계를 수입이 나도록 돌아가게 해야 했다. Just as incontestably as it was necessary to repay a debt was it necessary to keep the property in such a condition that his son, when he received it as a heritage, would say “thank you” to his father as Levin had said “thank you” to his grandfather for all he built and planted. 빚을 갚아야 하는 것만큼이나 의심할 여지 없이, 영지를 잘 보존해서 아들이 유산으로 물려받을 때 레빈이 할아버지가 짓고 심은 모든 것에 “고맙습니다” 하고 말했듯이 아들도 아버지에게 “고맙습니다” 하고 말하게 해야 했다. And to do this it was necessary to look after the land himself, not to let it, and to breed cattle, manure the fields, and plant timber. 그리고 그렇게 하려면 땅을 남에게 빌려주지 말고 직접 돌보며, 가축을 기르고, 밭에 거름을 주고, 나무를 심어야 했다.

It was impossible not to look after the affairs of Sergey Ivanovitch, of his sister, of the peasants who came to him for advice and were accustomed to do so—as impossible as to fling down a child one is carrying in one’s arms. 세르게이 이바노비치의 일, 누나의 일, 조언을 구하러 그를 찾아오는 데 익숙한 농부들의 일을 돌보지 않을 수는 없었다. 그것은 품에 안은 아이를 내던질 수 없는 것과 같았다. It was necessary to look after the comfort of his sister-in-law and her children, and of his wife and baby, and it was impossible not to spend with them at least a short time each day. 처형과 그 아이들, 그리고 아내와 아기가 편안하게 지내도록 돌봐야 했고, 날마다 적어도 잠깐은 그들과 함께 시간을 보내지 않을 수 없었다.

And all this, together with shooting and his new bee-keeping, filled up the whole of Levin’s life, which had no meaning at all for him, when he began to think. 그리고 이 모든 일이 사냥과 새로 시작한 양봉과 더불어 레빈의 삶 전체를 채웠다. 생각하기 시작하면 그에게 아무 의미도 없는 삶을.

But besides knowing thoroughly what he had to do, Levin knew in just the same way how he had to do it all, and what was more important than the rest. 그러나 레빈은 자기가 무엇을 해야 하는지를 속속들이 알았을 뿐 아니라, 그 모든 것을 어떻게 해야 하는지, 무엇이 다른 것보다 더 중요한지도 똑같이 알고 있었다.

He knew he must hire laborers as cheaply as possible; but to hire men under bond, paying them in advance at less than the current rate of wages, was what he must not do, even though it was very profitable. 그는 일꾼을 되도록 싸게 고용해야 한다는 것을 알았다. 그러나 시세보다 싼 품삯을 미리 주고 사람을 묶어 두는 것은, 아무리 이득이 많아도 해서는 안 되는 일이었다. Selling straw to the peasants in times of scarcity of provender was what he might do, even though he felt sorry for them; but the tavern and the pothouse must be put down, though they were a source of income. 꼴이 모자랄 때 농부들에게 짚을 파는 것은 그들이 가엾더라도 해도 되는 일이었다. 그러나 선술집과 주막은 수입원이라 해도 없애야 했다. Felling timber must be punished as severely as possible, but he could not exact forfeits for cattle being driven onto his fields; and though it annoyed the keeper and made the peasants not afraid to graze their cattle on his land, he could not keep their cattle as a punishment. 나무를 베어 가는 것은 되도록 엄하게 벌해야 했지만, 가축을 그의 밭에 몰아넣었다고 벌금을 물릴 수는 없었다. 그리고 그것이 산지기를 짜증 나게 하고 농부들이 겁 없이 그의 땅에 가축을 풀어놓게 만들더라도, 벌로 그들의 가축을 붙잡아 둘 수는 없었다.

To Pyotr, who was paying a money-lender ten per cent. a month, he must lend a sum of money to set him free. 고리대금업자에게 한 달에 1할의 이자를 물고 있는 표트르에게는 그를 풀어 주도록 돈을 빌려주어야 했다. But he could not let off peasants who did not pay their rent, nor let them fall into arrears. 그러나 소작료를 내지 않는 농부들을 봐주거나 체납하게 둘 수는 없었다. It was impossible to overlook the bailiff’s not having mown the meadows and letting the hay spoil; and it was equally impossible to mow those acres where a young copse had been planted. 관리인이 풀밭을 베지 않아 건초를 썩힌 것을 눈감아 줄 수는 없었다. 그리고 어린 숲을 심어 놓은 땅을 베는 것도 마찬가지로 안 될 일이었다. It was impossible to excuse a laborer who had gone home in the busy season because his father was dying, however sorry he might feel for him, and he must subtract from his pay those costly months of idleness. 아무리 가엾게 여겨지더라도, 아버지가 죽어 간다고 바쁜 철에 집에 가 버린 일꾼을 봐줄 수는 없었고, 그 값비싼 몇 달 동안 놀았던 만큼 품삯에서 빼야 했다. But it was impossible not to allow monthly rations to the old servants who were of no use for anything. 그러나 아무 일에도 쓸모없는 늙은 하인들에게 다달이 식량을 주지 않을 수는 없었다.

Levin knew that when he got home he must first of all go to his wife, who was unwell, and that the peasants who had been waiting for three hours to see him could wait a little longer. 레빈은 집에 돌아가면 무엇보다 먼저 몸이 좋지 않은 아내에게 가야 하며, 세 시간째 그를 기다리는 농부들은 조금 더 기다려도 된다는 것을 알았다. He knew too that, regardless of all the pleasure he felt in taking a swarm, he must forego that pleasure, and leave the old man to see to the bees alone, while he talked to the peasants who had come after him to the bee-house. 그는 또 벌 떼를 받는 일이 아무리 즐거워도 그 즐거움을 포기하고 벌 돌보는 일은 노인에게 맡긴 채, 양봉장까지 그를 찾아온 농부들과 이야기를 나누어야 한다는 것도 알았다.

Whether he were acting rightly or wrongly he did not know, and far from trying to prove that he was, nowadays he avoided all thought or talk about it. 자기가 옳게 행동하는지 그르게 행동하는지 그는 알지 못했다. 그리고 옳다는 것을 증명하려 하기는커녕, 요즘은 그것에 대해 생각하거나 이야기하는 것을 모두 피했다.

Reasoning had brought him to doubt, and prevented him from seeing what he ought to do and what he ought not. 따지고 드는 것은 그를 의심으로 이끌었고, 무엇을 해야 하고 무엇을 하지 말아야 하는지 보지 못하게 했다. When he did not think, but simply lived, he was continually aware of the presence of an infallible judge in his soul, determining which of two possible courses of action was the better and which was the worse, and as soon as he did not act rightly, he was at once aware of it. 생각하지 않고 그저 살 때면, 그는 자기 영혼 속에 틀림없는 재판관이 있어 가능한 두 행동 가운데 어느 쪽이 더 낫고 어느 쪽이 더 나쁜지 결정한다는 것을 끊임없이 느꼈고, 옳게 행동하지 않으면 곧바로 그것을 알아차렸다.

So he lived, not knowing and not seeing any chance of knowing what he was and what he was living for, and harassed at this lack of knowledge to such a point that he was afraid of suicide, and yet firmly laying down his own individual definite path in life. 그렇게 그는 살았다. 자기가 무엇이며 무엇 때문에 사는지 알지 못하고 알 가능성도 보지 못한 채, 그 모름에 자살이 두려울 만큼 시달리면서도, 삶에서 자기만의 뚜렷한 길을 굳건히 닦아 나가면서.